Failure is Trying

Yesterday I was in a training when I heard the presenter say, "Failure is Trying". He said, that failure should be viewed as evidence that someone tried. That idea really stuck with me because it feels like many people no longer see failure that way. Instead, failure is often viewed as something negative, rather than proof that a person was willing to take a risk, be vulnerable, or pursue something meaningful.

I hate failure! There I said it. It is a hard, "pill for me to swallow." but I am learning.

I find it funny how when I was teacher, I used to have a sign on my wall encouraging my students to fail. When my students would fail, we would say them out loud, and clap and cheer. I remember one time, I was teaching a lesson, and I dropped my marker. I went to pick it up, and one of my students said, she failed to hold on to the marker. One my way up, I was met with cheers. It is a good feeling to be cheered on when you make a mistake, then hearing negativity.

And, during my presentations on gaming, I would talk about how failing is good. I used to quote the lyric from the Song Love the Way You Lie Eminem and Rihanna. There is a lyric in there that says, "you don't get another chance Life is no Nintendo game". I agree in the sense that we only get one life, but I push back on we only get one chance. I think life is very much a Nintendo game we get a lot of chances. If we allow ourselves others that space to fail and try again.

 Instead, failure is often viewed as something negative, rather than proof that a person was willing to take a risk, be vulnerable, or pursue something meaningful. 

I think people who try and fail are incredibly brave. 

There are so many examples:

• Working up the courage to say hi to someone you like, even though they might not be interested. ( I can not do this, I tried and I just can not).

• Applying for a job that feels just out of reach and not getting it.

• Trying a new career path and discovering it's not the right fit.

• Choosing a doctor or therapist who ends up not being the right match.

• Starting something new and realizing it didn't work the way you hoped.

None of those things make someone a failure. They simply mean that person was willing to try.

Have you ever played a video game and failed a level? Did you stop gaming? You may have stopped playing the game, but you probably played another game in your life.  It is amazing how something like losing a video game level allows us to be angry, regroup and try again, but in life, we hold in the emotion and consider it as failure. 

It seems like many people today view failure as a verdict rather than feedback. I see it on social media, and I hear it from some of my younger cousins. They become frozen because they failed once and don't want to try again. Carrying that kind of pressure to be perfect all the time seems incredibly heavy.

I also keep thinking about something I heard once: “We’re all human. None of us really know what we’re doing.” 

I'm not trying to minimize anyone's struggles. Failure can be painful, and disappointment is real. But I wonder if we've lost some perspective on what failure actually means.

I think a lot of us are walking around being way too hard on ourselves. Yeah I am including myself. 

I think a conversation around failure, trying, and the pressure to be perfect could resonate with a lot of people. 

Honestly, Ms. Frizzle may have had this figured out before the rest of us:

"Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy."

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us stopped doing exactly that.

Failure is just proof that you tried.

I hope you fail a lot today!

Dr. Natalie

P.s. Yes there are mistakes in this article. I am not a perfect writer.